Emotional Intelligence

Tittle: Emotional Intelligence

Introduction

 

What’s emotional intelligence? What are it components? Do people have good emotional intelligence? What about emotional intelligence in schools? Do our teenagers have a good manage of their emotions? Are they prepared to have good social skills? Is really important to know about this topic? Now, we are going to answer all these questions.

Definition

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize own feelings and the same of other persons. It’s an ability to handle them.

What’s emotion?

An emotion is a complex state of the organism, characterized by disturbances, emotional reactions, appetites, desires and other very short-lived sensations produced at significant events.

What about feeling?

It is the protocol that the person used to the excitement; is the result of an emotion. It’s the label that everyone puts their own emotion. Everyone can’t label to other persons, everyone has to put label only by her or himself because it could be stereotyped.

Levels of emotion

It has two levels, conscious and unconscious states. The first means to be aware of an emotion is to be attentive to the responses: "What do I feel?", "What emotions am I experiencing at this time?” The second level of emotion is about not to be aware of emotions I am experiencing.

Components of Emotional Intelligence

1. Self-awareness

It refers to know my own emotions. That is, finding a way to be aware of what we feel at a specific time and the ability to give a label to that emotion.

2. Self control
It is the ability to control the emotions perceived. It's very different to control and suppress feelings. A person who suppresses them (whether consciously or unconsciously) have a higher emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and higher levels of casualties in both physical and mental health. Moreover, a person who controls the emotions, senses, feel and experience the emotional state without being annoyed or acquired by the state.

To control of impulses, it is recommended to use the traffic light:

• Red light: Stop, calm down and think before acting.
• Yellow light: to comment the problem and say how you feel. You propose a positive goal. Think of a number of solutions. Think about the consequences later.
• Green light: Go ahead and put into practice the best plan.


3. Motivation
It is the willingness to get what you want. It is based on the attitude we manifest to life and to everything that happens. Motivation can be influenced by the environment, however, depending on how we manage our response to these external factors, so we can influence our motivation. For this reason, the best motivation is coming from within, is the self-generated.

4. Empathy
After learning to recognize our own feelings, we will be able to recognize others. Empathy refers to the emotional understanding, is "putting you in the other side." This event is an important skill to live with society.

Moreover, empathy is characterized by the harmony that exists in interpersonal relationships. When there is not harmony, for example, between a mother and a child, the one who in needs empathy suppress its own emotions, leaving them to express fully.


The emotional toll the lack of harmony in the childhood, it can be high, not only for the child, but also for the society, it was found that most cruel criminals who commit crimes, such as psychopaths and sex offenders, didn’t have no such tune as a child, that is why they did not put in the place of their victims.  The importance of fostering empathy goes beyond emotion. It is a moral responsibility.

5. Social Skills
It is the adaptation to the emotions of others. It is expressed through empathy, tenacity, warmth, kindness, and respect for others, among others.

In education (for both parents and teachers), it is important to remember that children need to develop:

• Confidence: the feeling of controlling the body, the environment, safety of themselves.
• Curiosity: the feeling that find things. It is good and leads to pleasure.
• Intent: the desire and ability to produce an impact and to act on it with persistence. It is the sense of competition.
• Self-control: the sense of internal control.
• Value: the ability to engage with others based on empathy.
• Communication skills.
• Cooperatively: the ability to balance own needs with those of others in a group activity.

 

How can I promote my emotional intelligence?

1. Know yourself: besides knowing what I like? What don’t I like? How is my personality, etc.., it’s know my attitude towards the different stimuli or circumstances that life presents. It is not only discover who I am, also is to build my self-concept. Some recommendations to have an efficient self-knowledge are:

1. To ask: What do I think and what do I feel to "X" circumstance? This will release my emotions and feelings. Writing in a journal, is a highly recommended strategy, since it is more personal and allows for more effective removal and analysis of emotions.
2. Seeing my own behavior
3. The mirror: it’s to see the reactions of others caused by my behavior.
4. Social comparison: I will build self- knowledge with the feeling of being unique and different from others.

2. Self-manage emotions: Emotional control is important not only for our mental health but also for the physiological functioning of our body. Some recommendations for emotional control are:

a. Deep breathing: is to eliminate the tachycardia, to slow the heart rate, to control the dilated and gastrointestinal physiology. The steps to achieve deep breathing are:

     v To take a deep breath while mentally account for up to 4 seconds
v To keep your breath while you mentally account for up to 4 seconds
v To release the air while mentally account for up to 8 seconds
v To repeat the above process

b. Thought control: When we are in the problematic situation:

     v We have to identify which ones and what types of thoughts we have in this situation. We ask ourselves: What do I think? “Are my thoughts negative or positive?
v If we find negative thoughts need to say to ourselves: Stop!

     v Immediately replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

According to the website Psicologíaonline.com, these are may be positive and negative thoughts most common:

Negative thoughts

"I'm a mess"
"I can not stand"
"I'm overwhelmed"
"Everything will go wrong"
"I can not handle this situation"
"He / she doing it on purpose"

Positive thoughts
"I can overcome this situation"
"If I try I will succeed"
"Worrying does not help matters"
"This will not be so terrible"
"Sure I'll make it"
”It may not have noticed”
”What makes me upset "

How to improve motivation?
• What can either start or end.
• Do not be influenced by climate.
• Try to smile and laugh before you get to work.
• Positivice your inner dialogue.
• Get involved in extracurricular activities.
• Take the failures as mere experiences.
• Be persistent in the techniques.

Comment

 

There are many types of intelligence: natural, logical-mathematical, musical, including the linguistic and emotional. In Costa Rica, schools only encourage students to get good grades. According to many educators, emotional intelligence is not available to them. However, children and teenagers studying in their classes, besides being educated academically, they need to know to face life. A student who does not control his or her emotions, his/ her can not successfully learn about trigonometry, for example. So, to promote the importance of emotional intelligence and emotionally healthy in children and teenagers, is not only for their academic well-being, it’s also for their personal welfare, and that in future, they will be able to be with greater social skills and they will be  able to make better decisions.

For psychology, the components of this amazing intelligence create a guide to prevent disorders like depression and anxiety disorder. The control of our emotions and the efficient self-knowledge establish a positive point of view and also provide different tools to develop the social skills. 

In my personal opinion, I agree to develop emotional intelligence in our children and teenagers because they need to have basis to deal with to their world. We do not need more persons that are angry, embittered, strict with themselves and others. The world needs people who live in peace and love. We are tired of the people who always ask the best but do not do something to get it.

 

Written by: Dayanna Marín Mora. ULACIT.

Sources consulted: 

Ana Muñoz. http://www.cepvi.com/articulos/autoconcepto.shtml


Técnicas de control emocional. Collected in http://www.psicologia-online.com/autoayuda/iemocional/control_emocional.shtml August 13th, 2010.